UPDATE: 42-year-old boss tells 29-year-old employee that she's not being a team player after she solves escape room quickly: 'My boss is giving me the cold shoulder'

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jun 23, 2025 11:00 AM EDT

This team-building activity did the exact opposite of what it was supposed to do! 

As long as a team-building activity happens during the workday, a lot of people relish the chance to have a "recess" type of break. They get a mandated chance to step away from their inboxes and have an afternoon off. Some businesses will have a company lunch, or plan a trip to an amusement park, or like, this company, maybe they'll take everyone to an escape room. 

I know escape rooms can be polarizing: some people love to solve the puzzles and beat the timer, while other people roll their eyes at the goofy clues. Regardless of how you feel about it, at the end of the day, it's just a game. This person's boss acted totally weird about their game, though, and this person took to the internet seeking advice. It's a good thing she did, too, because things definitely escalated! Check out the full story, plus two updates, down below. 

Next, read about the nightmare wedding plan that changed basically every aspect of the event: "Wedding date changed last minute to a weekday in another state."

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  • 01

    "AITA for sabotaging my boss’s 'team-building' escape room because I solved it too quickly?"

    2 UPDATES UNDER THE ORIGINAL POST! So, last week my boss (42M) organized a mandatory team- building exercise for our department at an escape room. I (29F) LOVE puzzles and escape rooms-I've done like 20 of them, and I'm really good at them. The thing is, my boss is kind of the "control freak" type who loves being the smartest person in the room.
    via u/Puzzleheaded-Key7537
  • 02
    At the start, he made it clear he was "leading" the escape room and told us to follow his instructions. Fine. But the thing is, he wasn't exactly great at it. He kept overthinking the clues and barking out bad ideas that were going nowhere. Meanwhile, I had already mentally solved half the puzzles but kept quiet because I didn't want to be that person who takes over. About 15 minutes in, the rest of the team was getting visibly
    via u/Puzzleheaded-Key7537
  • 03
    frustrated. People were just standing around while my boss argued with himself over a clue I'd already figured out. So, I casually solved a few puzzles and unlocked a door while he was rambling. He immediately got annoyed and said I was "ruining the team experience" and needed to "let others contribute." At that point, I backed off, but the team kept stalling, and we were running out of time. Finally, with only 10 minutes left, I couldn't
    via u/Puzzleheaded-Key7537
  • 04
    take it anymore and solved the last major puzzle, opening the exit door. We beat the room, but barely. Everyone cheered except for my boss, who was clearly upset. He muttered something about how the point was to "work together" and not "show off." Later that day, he pulled me aside and said I'd "ruined the team- building experience" by not letting the group figure things out on their own. I told him I was just trying to help because we were
    via u/Puzzleheaded-Key7537
  • 05
    falling behind, but he accused me of undermining him in front of the team. Now my coworkers are saying I did nothing wrong and we would've failed if I hadn't stepped in. But my boss is still giving me the cold shoulder, and it's making things awkward at work. AITA for solving the escape room too quickly and stepping on my boss's toes? Should I have let us fail to spare his ego?
    via u/Puzzleheaded-Key7537
  • 06
    ! SMALL UPDATE: Thanks for the many reactions and advice you guys gave me! I wanted to give you all an update on the situation with my boss (who is the head of our department). Things have definitely become more uncomfortable. Since the escape room incident, he's been quite hostile towards me today. It's subtle but noticeable.. He's been cutting me off in a meeting today, refusing to acknowledge my
    via u/Puzzleheaded-Key7537
  • 07
    contributions, and even giving me side tasks that seem beneath my role. What's even more concerning is that some of his comments have taken on a (I think) sexist tone. For example, during a meeting, I suggested a solution for an ongoing project, and he responded with, "Let's have someone with more experience handle it. You wouldn't want to get your head wrapped around something too complex." He said
    via u/Puzzleheaded-Key7537
  • 08
    it in a patronizing tone, making it clear he thinks I'm not capable. On another occasion, he "joked" that I probably only solved the escape room so quickly because I like puzzles as a "girly hobby." It's becoming clear that this isn't just about the escape room, his behaviour is getting more problematic. His behavior seems to reflect deeper issues, possibly with how he views women in the workplace. I'm seriously considering reporting him to HR,
    via u/Puzzleheaded-Key7537
  • 09
    but I want to make sure I document everything first, like you guys suggested. I don't want to quit my job right away because my boss decided to bu y me, if I leave, I also leave my co-workers with this crazy behaviour without speaking up myself. I appreciate all the advice you gave in my original post, it's helped me see the situation for what it really is.
    via u/Puzzleheaded-Key7537
  • 10
    Cheezburger Image 10519782656
    via Guillaume Issaly For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 11
    ! FINAL UPDATE: Thanks to everyone who offered their support and advice. I wanted to share how things have unfolded since my last post. The situation with my boss has escalated further, and it's becoming impossible to ignore. After documenting everything and gathering evidence, I decided it was time to take action. I started to sort out my so called evidence so I would be
    via u/Puzzleheaded-Key7537
  • 12
    providing them with detailed notes on the incidents and examples of the sexist and undermining behavior I've experienced. It turns out, I wasn't the only one having issues with him. Another colleague, who had been dealing with similar frustrations since the escape room incident, had already filed a complaint with HR. Before I could schedule a meeting with HR myself, they
    via u/Puzzleheaded-Key7537
  • 13
    Cheezburger Image 10519782912
    via Behnam Mohsenzadeh For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 14
    actually reached out to me for a conversation. Apparently, HR had been investigating my colleague's complaint and was in the process of gathering more information when they received my documentation. It was clear that both of our experiences painted a troubling picture of my boss's behavior, particularly towards women. As a result, HR has taken the situation seriously and my boss has been temporarily suspended
    via u/Puzzleheaded-Key7537
  • 15
    while the investigation continues. Even though I hadn't planned for things to move this quickly, I'm relieved that steps are being taken to address the issue. The office atmosphere has already improved noticeably, and while it's unfortunate that it took this much to make a change, I feel validated knowing that speaking up was the right choice. This experience has taught me the importance of standing up for myself, even when it's daunting.
    via u/Puzzleheaded-Key7537
  • 16
    Thank you all again for your advice and support!
    via u/Puzzleheaded-Key7537
  • 17
    MarathonRabbi... NTA, but! Next time, tell someone else the solution (like parse them out to people), or, ask them to huddle with you, make a lot of "h I yeah!" noises, do some high fives, then solve. the puzzle. Make it seem like a team effort. Boss will never know and you'll be done faster.
    via u/MarathonRabbit69
  • 18
    CCCmonster Yo b you said you loved problem solvers in the interview...
    via u/CCCmonster
  • 19
    Beeni69 NTA. Your boss is a
    via u/Beeni69

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boss workplace-stories teams toxic-workplace update human resources workplace Horrible Bosses team escape room
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